Slug Spit Soap Bar

This is easily the best purchase I have made in my life. With this bar of soap, my crops have flourished, my illnesses have been cured, and my car's broken windshield has been repaired. My wife finally looks at me again when we make love. I sometimes sneak a bite of it before work to give myself refreshing breath all day long and make my boss jealous because all the coworkers are saying how awesome my smell is while he smells like a bad dookie man. I really can't recommend this soap enough!

(But in all seriousness, it smells nice.)